Wilderness

I am in the wilderness.

Oh, of course it’s easy to equate what I am going through with what I am reading in Exodus. Don’t we simple humans tend to find connection through proximal experiences? But I won’t deny that God works in this way.

I am definitely uncomfortable. How many times have I cried out in despair to Yahweh in the past 3 weeks? My aching spirit, my starving soul… so desperate to find an oasis from which I could drink in comfort and peace over my situation.

How dearly and wrongly I hold on to my desires for my own fleshly fulfillment. How I daily struggle to fight off my thoughts wandering back to my days in Egypt. How quickly I forget the pains of slavery that held me captive there. How can I cry out against my freedom? Just because it’s hard? Because it’s new? Because it requires me to trust the Unseen Love that delivered me? How weak I am!

If God delivered me from that slavery, how can I not trust Him to save me when it pursues me in the desert? Has He put Himself there as a pillar of protection against my enemy? Is He calling me to move forward, even though it looks impossible? Will He show me a supernatural exit to escape, where His glory is seen? Where I cannot take any credit for a battle won? Oh that my God would open my eyes and keep me from unbelief!

And what did Yehoveh do in the wilderness? He tested the Israelites. He taught them. He showed them His presence, His provision. He taught them to rely on Him… not Moses. Not Aaron. Him.

This is leads to a thought: If I were truly in a wilderness, I would have to rely on Him entirely. COMPLETELY. God did not say, “Ok, folks I understand this is hard, I have set up some psychologists and counselors to help you cope with what happened. They will help you work through your thought processes and figure out why you are feeling the way you do.” I often wonder if we really get the complete reliance on God Himself…

And what is the alternative here…. “If Yahweh is God, then follow Him!” says Elijah (1Kings 18). There is NO alternative. What if the Israelites had turned around? What if they had denied Yahweh’s power? But really, how could they have? And how can WE??

Bottom line: we would be idiots to deny the power and love of Yehoveh. We would be mindless and blind to NOT follow Him wherever He leads. So the path is painful… and we can’t see how we will even make it another step. There is no water. No food. How much we need Him! How desperately we need Him in this desert life… and what an amazing story it will tell to follow Him and watch His glory be known through our trust!